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We can be generous with our compassion and resources, in support of the grieving families, without knowing such specifics. There's no need, for example, to doomscroll in search of details about what physical condition police found murdered children and their teachers. Some argue that we must confront the graphic nature of what happened at Robb Elementary School, but the research suggests that can have harmful effects. Media exposure to graphic imagery and details can lead to anxiety, acute stress, and post-traumatic stress symptoms. I have written before about strategies to cope with relentless tragedy. to the crisis of climate change, America is a country ripe for despair. From mass shootings to a pandemic that's claimed 1 million lives in the U.S. There's also no assurance that what happened in Uvalde won't be turned into someone's false flag conspiracy theory to spread on social media, injecting yet more horror into the lives of the bereaved. Platforms make it possible to express a sentiment or opinion, but there's no guarantee that our lived reality will change, especially when politicians opposed to reform post the latest version of their "thoughts and prayers" condolences. If you feel hopeless in this deluge of pain, it's partly because social media is both an outlet and a gauntlet. Wondering if a child they love will be next is too much uncertainty to bear. Humans are not well-equipped to transition between answering their email and sobbing while looking at the smiling faces of children who died by gunfire in their classroom. There is collective grief and, counterintuitively, the isolation and loneliness of processing it from behind a screen. There are digital memorials to the dead, like Mireles' daughter's letter. There are calls to vote, organize, and rally. The implications of such trauma reverberate on social media where people, myself included, voice their rage and despair. When pleas to save us from carnage go unheeded, there is no safe harbor. We can debate when the word trauma should be deployed, but I can think of few things more psychologically distressing and damaging than seeing people regularly slaughtered in schools, theaters, grocery stores, and houses of worship, and realizing that numerous politicians and their supporters refuse to find ways to stop the bloodshed. Though the most common proposals - the expansion of background checks and use of "red flag" laws to temporarily confiscate a gun from someone who is an imminent danger to themselves or others - may not have stopped the shooter in Uvalde, they might stop other killers. Losing hope is inevitable when living in a country that makes killing people easy.Įach mass shooting brings renewed calls for gun safety reform - and the crushing realization that entrenched corporate and conservative political interests are opposed to meaningful legislation to prevent people from obtaining firearms when they shouldn't possess them. When the gunman attacked in Uvalde, it'd been just 10 days since a shooter with alleged white supremacist views targeted and killed Black shoppers in Buffalo.
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Numbness to this reality, I think, is one way to cope with the fact that trauma is a feature of American life, not an unintended defect. In Uvalde, the small town west of San Antonio where the shooting took place, the violence stole parents from their babies, and babies from their parents. I am a mother but you needn't be one to grasp the devastating grief and longing contained in this single sentence. "I want you to come back to me mom," she wrote. Her bereft daughter composed a heartbreaking goodbye in the Notes app and shared it with the world. Then, on Twitter, I came across a tribute to Eva Mireles, the 4th grade teacher who died trying to shield her students from an 18-year-old reportedly armed with an AR-15-style rifle. I'd seen a version of this happen so many times before. Distraught yet desensitized, I couldn't express grief. After learning that a gunman murdered 19 children and two adults at a Texas elementary school, it took me nearly 24 hours to weep. Becoming numb is inevitable when living in a country that makes killing people easy.